• This is a big article on women self improvement & women self help
• It includes: 10 questions that make you think and info on:
• ... woman self esteem issues, feminine (yin) energy
• ... self realization, empowerment, self concept and more!
• Read it and see that YOU'VE GOT THE POWER! :-)
Do Men and Women Have Different Self Improvement Needs?
In a word: Yes.
Not on the deeper, spiritual levels, but on the more superficial levels of, say, your work life, your self concept (self image), your feminine energy and your self confidence.
If you are a woman chances are you have certain challenges which are more common with your sex than they are with men.
But Aren't Men and Women Alike?
Well, we're all human, so at the most basic level we are indeed alike, which is why your sex doesn't matter when it comes to the really powerful kinds of self improvement (those that work on a soul level).
But the more superficial levels, there are differences between the sexes, too. Certain typical behaviors differ.
Also, women in the West have been suppressed for thousands of years and have only just emerged from this suppression. This also has an effect when it comes to personal development and self improvement. (Please note: I am a man, so I'm not trying to put down men, I'm simply stating what I consider facts).
Woman, I'll Be Talking to You ...
& What Else to Expect Regarding Women Self Improvement
What I'm going to talk about here aren't individuals, because with individuals there's no telling who needs and will do what. What I'll talk about are women, taken as a whole, as opposed to men, taken as a whole: I'm going to generalize.
That being said, this is women self help, and I'm going to address this to the women ... to you as a woman. In the West. (If you happen to live in another part of the world your challenges may be different - odds are they may be even more demanding).
Other that that what you can expect in this article is an examination of the reasons why and the areas in which you, as a woman, might benefit from women self improvement.
For your women self improvement - here are ...
10 Questions That Make You Think
With you being a woman you may find the following questions both interesting, annoying and self evident. Please simply consider them - and consider whether you would answer 'yes' or 'no' to them
1) Do you as a woman have the same chances and possibilities for getting ahead in the world as men do?
2) Will you have a reasonable chance of attaining your innermost dreams and visions?
3) Are you - in all likelihood - going to live up to your full potential (i.e. self realization and self actualization)?
4) Can you in all honesty say that you being happy ... is primarily up to you?
5) Do you feel that you as a person are okay, or better than okay, most of the time?
6) Is it a rare occurrence that you think (and perhaps say, too): 'Oh, I don't know how, but I'm sure this is my fault - it usually is!'
7) Are you sure you don't have to sacrifice a lot of things for your family, friends, colleagues and other people?
8) Do you rarely take life, yourself and the things you perceive as your responsibility too seriously?
9) Do you love to be child-like, carefree, playful and do lots of experiments (as opposed to always being very adult, reasonable and responsible)?
10) When you get into some new situation that you haven't prepared for, are you sure it's going to turn out all right?
So, how many questions out of the 10 would you answer 'yes' to? Ten? Seven? Five? Three? None?
The more questions you would answer 'yes' to those questions the more empowered you are as a person and as a woman.
The more questions you would answer 'no' to, the more likely it is that you need women self help and women self improvement.
I'll refer to the results of the above mini test in several of the next paragraphs.
Women self improvement - how about your ...
Self Confidence: Are You Brainwashed
to Limit Yourself Because You Are a Woman?
Now, all people have the ability to make the most of their potential. Being a woman, though, you might tend to answer 'no' to several of the above 10 questions simply because you don't believe in yourself.
And why would you? Simply because you are female, you may have been subjected to negative brain washing from the day you were born;
'You belong to the weaker sex, so you are weak; You must be a good girl; Oh, you could do better; You must be a big girl and be responsible; You must sacrifice yourself for your loved ones; If something goes wrong you must take it upon yourself: You're a woman, your dream must be to find a good man and have babies; You can't have both babies and a career; As a woman you were meant to be at home with the children; Being a woman you need a man to protect you and provide for you, etc., etc.'.
If your parents, too, had been subjected to this kind of limiting hogwash by their parents, they would almost certainly pass it on to you so without even wanting to do so.
Furthermore: They don't need to say it out loud for you to be affected by it - they just need to believe it themselves, and you will read it from their behavior and reactions and be deeply affected by it. Consequence: you get low self regard, just like they had low self regard.
The above mentioned hogwash will tend to undermine your self confidence, your belief in your own skills and abilities.
And THAT is an obvious area for women self improvement.
Women self improvement - how about your ...
Feminine Energy
Also, being female you are likely to have more female (receptive 'yin') energy than male (aggressive 'yang') energy.
It might also be the other way around, of course, that's just not quite as likely. In any case we all have both feminine and masculine energy. Only, most societies on Earth today are dominated by the masculine energy.
The receptive feminine energy is just as powerful as the masculine energy - and just as needed (perhaps even more needed these days) ... but do you believe that?
And do you know how to cope with your dominant type of energy - how to make the best use of the kind of energy you posses the most of? They don't teach us this in school, do they?
Happily, concepts like 'the Law of Attraction' have gained popularity in recent years (particularly after the 2006 movie 'The Secret', produced by Rhonda Byrne). Well, if you have a lot of feminine energy that's part of your answer: Fully understanding and utilizing the Law of Attraction for your women self improvement. (By the way: The movie will not be enough to teach you that, but I'll surely write more about that later).
Another thing you might try is playing with this type of energy (female yin energy) in your love making and sex life. In fact, you probably already do, unconsciously. But to get the full effect of that it requires a man (or: woman) to play with, and it needs to be done consciously.
At a later point I'll also write some very interesting stuff about all this under the aforementioned heading of Making Love, but until then, you can look up 'tantra' and 'tantric sex' if you like.
Women self improvement - how about your ...
Self Esteem and Life Esteem?
What did you answer to the questions about whether you feel that you as a person are okay, or better than okay, most of the time; about you saying 'Oh, I don't know how, but I'm sure this is probably my fault!'; and about getting into some new situation that you haven't prepared for, are you sure it's going to turn out all right?
While your self confidence relates to your skills and abilities, your self esteem relates to your feeling of worth. And your life esteem relates to your general trust in life.
Self esteem is a belief - a belief about whether you are:
- good enough - or not ...;
- important - or not ...;
- the way you should be - or wrong / deficient somehow.
Life esteem is a belief about how trustworthy (vs. dangerous) you believe life is.
Odds are that you've got less self esteem and life esteem than you might have had. That's how it is for the majority of people on this planet at this time; we've got both low self esteem and low life esteem (compared to what we might have had).
Women self improvement ...
Why You Have Life Esteem and Self Esteem Issues
So, why you have low self esteem and low life esteem? That has to do with one thing above all: Your ego.
If you are to some extent identified with your ego, you've got low self esteem and low life esteem. In fact there is a sort of linear correlation: The more identified with you ego you are, the lower your self esteem and your life esteem. Or, to put it differently:
If you could tell me how many percent you identify with your ego, I could tell you approximately how low your self esteem and your life esteem are, and thus how much you need women self improvement in those areas.
Since both sexes tend to identify with the ego, the problems of low self esteem and low life esteem are hardly gender related.
However, without having the statistics to back it up, it is my considered opinion that more women than men suffer from a self depreciating ego, rather than a self inflating ego.
Make no mistake; both kinds of ego have low self esteem, but the self depreciating ego - which is busy putting itself down - may have an easier time becoming aware of it than the self inflating ego - which is busy boasting and being arrogant. So in a way, as a woman, you're likely to have a sort of advantage here:
You KNOW you've got trust issues (i.e. life esteem issues) and self esteem issues. And realizing you have a problem is the first step of women self improvement. Next, you start DOING something about it.
If you like, you can read more here about self esteem and life esteem.
Women self improvement - tell me ...
Are You 'People Pleasing'
and 'Being a Good Girl'?
So many women suffer from 'the disease to please' syndrome. They have been brainwashed into thinking they must be 'good girls' - whatever that is - and they have that terrible habit of 'people pleasing' - meaning that when dealing with others they put themselves in second, third or even last place.
Well, if that's you, you've got some women self improvement ahead of you. It will be a really good thing for you if you stop being a people pleaser and stop being a good girl all the time.
The truth is you're both a good girl AND a bad girl AND neither one. You are you.
The truth is also that other people will respect you more and treat you better if you learn self trust and stop being a people pleaser. Remember, it's YOUR life you're living - not the life of other people.
Women self improvement - tell me ...
Are You Playing the Victim?
So many people do. Particularly those with a self depreciating ego - which means that more women than men do this.
Being a victim seems so easy, doesn't it? When you are playing the victim you can tell yourself and the world that nasty things have been done (and are still being done) to you ... and that therefore you don't have to take responsibility. Not for yourself, for others or for your life experience.
It is not true, of course, that you are a victim, but you are free to believe it and experience the consequences that come with that belief. Mostly they are about disempowerment, helplessness and frustration.
At this point some people will try to defend their perceived status of victim by saying that awful things have been done to them. This may very well be true, but it is also in the past. Not only can you learn to re-interpret the past (or completely let it go), but the present is another story entirely. In the present you ARE empowered - if you so choose. It is a choice.
Playing the victim gets you nowhere, fast. Being empowered gets you anywhere you want to go, twice as fast. :-)
Women self improvement - how about ...
Being Relaxed, Easygoing, Playful and Loving to Experiment
In my experience this is something women forget much more than men. The men seem better able to stick with their inner child than the women do.
Reading this and being a woman you have just identified a very important aspect of women self improvement: Playing, experimenting and NOT taking everything so damned seriously.
Why is this important? Two main reasons:
a) Being playful will make your personal experience of life much more pleasant
b) Being playful is the most efficient way of learning and evolving there is
Just look at kids: They are playful most of the time and they are the world's greatest learners!
Women self improvement - how about ...
Your Self Concept - Particularly Your Physical Appearance
Do you frequently ask your partner and your friends 'how do I look?' Do you secretly wonder how to look good naked? When you have sex, do you tend to avoid certain positions, because you are worried how you look from that angle?
If so, you are certainly not alone - and you certainly also have some great women self improvement to do in those areas.
Let me just cut to the chase here: You look good. You look good naked. You can have sex in any position you want to and still look good.
Looking good isn't about the clothes you wear; or about the size of your tummy, breasts, hips or arse. Looking good is about believing. That's all.
Believe you look good and you do. Simple. Anyone can do it - at any time, anywhere in any position or situation.
And before you say something along the lines of 'But, my tummy is too thin/thick, my tits are too big/small/slack/chubby/long/short/round/pointy/uneven ...' or something those lines, I have to repeat myself:
No matter how you look, you look good. All you have to do is believe it! As long as you believe it, other people will take their cue from you, and believe it, too.
What you need isn't so much diets or physical exercise, but rather to do women self improvement in the areas of self acceptance, self esteem and beliefs in general. And sure, if you like, you can do physical exercises, too. :-)
Women self improvement - how about your ...
Self Realization and Self Actualization
What did you answer to the questions about living up to your full potential, attaining your innermost dreams & visions and in all honesty saying that it is primarily up to you if you are happy or not?
Your answer to these questions, too, have to do with the kind of ego you have. If your ego happens to be self inflating you're more likely to answer something along the lines of 'I can do anything, anytime, better than anyone!'
If this describes you, you are kind of lucky, because this will actually make self realization and self actualization easier for you, particularly in the initial phases. On the other hand you will have challenges realizing that you have life esteem and self esteem issues, so it sort of evens out in the end.
Every single person on this planet has the possibility of achieving your maximum potential and realizing themselves. Self actualization is for everybody - man, woman and child.
You have the power within you to achieve whatever you want to, you simply need to learn to tap into that power. Through women self improvement you can learn to depend on the power within to achieve great things.
Women self improvement - how about ...
Empowerment:
Learning about Your Inner Power and Your Inherent Wholeness
First and foremost you have to learn where that power resides.
The all-important answer is: You have the power inside you.
When, perhaps through women self improvement, you realize this, you start being able to tap into it. (Of course you have always done this unconsciously, but now you begin doing it consciously).
To find out more about what true empowerment is, you might read the Personal Development Guy's Empowerment Theory.
Women self improvement - how about ...
Alignment, Harmony and Functioning in the World
Next, you'll want to get your body, mind, feelings and spirit in alignment and harmony.
To do that you'll want get to know each of those elements intimately. Personally I used inner journeys, letting go via the Let Go Method and any other self help techniques I could get my hands on to do this. (I.e. more women self improvement).
Again, I must recommend that you read my Empowerment Theory - it's not an easy read, but it will really tell you some things you need to know.
After that, you'll want to teach yourself how to function harmoniously in the outside world as well as in your inner being. If you've done the previous steps in your women self improvement in depth, chances are this won't be too difficult.
Continuous Women Self Improvement
As you move on in your women self improvement, odds are you will keep encountering different (hidden) self limiting beliefs.
You will want to deal constructively with all of that old, deficient 'mind programming'. Personally I much prefer simply letting it go, but you can also choose to replace it with other, less limiting 'programming'.
Final Words: You've GOT THE POWER!
This article on women self improvement turned out to be one of the long ones. However, since I do have more female than male clients I guess I do have some pieces of advice to offer you.
When you open your mind up you will soon see that your goals, both spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically can be attained - one by one. Just remember: as a woman you have the power already inside you; you might just need to do some women self improvement to know how to use it.
You have free will, and you are the only one that can effectively control your mind, emotions, spirit and body. It is only when you have allowed other power over you (e.g. by playing victim) and have forgotten how to be playful that you get into trouble on your road to success and fulfilment.
You Used to be Fearless, Remember?You were born with this power and as a child you knew how to tap into it. Remember those days of being fearless, while climbing on the playground equipment or up a tree? Or saying whatever you wanted - to whomever you wanted? This was you being playful and tapping into your inner power.
As you grew up you started to be afraid. Your fear is the primary thing holding you back from reaching your full potential not only as a woman, but a human being, too. Do some women self improvement and find out how to be fearless again.
Your 2 Inner VoicesYes, you have probably have (at least) two inner voices: a loud fearful, critical one that keeps wanting to limit you; and a quiet, accepting and loving one, that tells you how not even the sky is the limit. You get to choose which one you will listen to.
Hardships = GrowthAlso, hardships and trauma may occur. Just like with your inner voices you can choose to either let those hardships put you down, or you can choose to use them for personal growth.
You've Got the Power!In other words: Through doing women self improvement you have the power remember to control your destiny - right in your inner being. You already hold the power to make your life what it want it to be. Start tapping into your power!
And hey, why not start today?
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